Off The Merry-Go-Round

May 11, 2015  •  Leave a Comment
 
Sometimes....actually, all the time, 
it's a good idea to take an introspective inventory.
 
Why do I do what I do? 
What do I hope to gain from it? 
What are the rewards and the pitfalls? 
And what are my motives? 
 
I've found myself in such a place 
many times in my life. 
And more than once, I've heeded 
that little voice inside my head. 
But of late, the past few years I would guess, 
I have all but ignored that still, small voice. 
 
Until now. 
 
 
 
I've accomplished a lot of things that I set out to do, 
things I was certain would leave me feeling 
satisfied and fulfilled. 
 
I've had the good fortune to see my work 
in print on many an occasion.
I've been blessed to have multiple local clients 
secure my services for their photographic 
and advertising needs.
 
And not just that, 
but filling my life with material pleasures, 
often to excess. 
Spending ridiculous amounts on clothes, 
jewelry, shoes, camera equipment, etc, etc. 
 
But still.... 
Did any of it bring happiness? Peace? Joy? 
Sometimes it has. 
But of late, I've recognized that 
the joy and the passion for all of this, 
these earthly pursuits, if you will, 
has left me feeling empty. 
 
I've looked back over the past 5 or so years, 
and I've recognized that while I've always given 
thanks and credit to magazine editors 
and clients, rarely if ever have I ever 
given credit to the one who gave me 
the ability to pursue these gifts in the first place. 
 
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, 
and loses his own soul?" Mark 8:36
 
I have neglected to give thanks to God... 
to give Him his rightful place in my life. 
And in neglecting to do so,  
I have felt empty and largely unsatisfied 
in most everything I have pursued of late. 
Every worldly thing, that is. 
 
Success. 
Recognition. 
Praise and flattery. 
All nothing in the grand plan. 
 
The scripture haunts me...
 
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world, 
and loses his own soul?" 
 
 It has profited me nothing. 
Certainly nothing of eternal value. 
And so I decided, a break was in order. 
A hop off the merry-go-round. 
 
While I am not taking on any new shoots 
in the immediate future, I very much 
want to make sure that I 
give proper exposure and kudos 
to those folks who've shoots I have completed 
and have hit the magazine stands. 
These sweet and talented friends 
deserve that much, definitely.
 
But if I am to actively resume my pursuits
in the artistic world, ( and I want to, very much ) 
I want to do so 
with only the most honorable of motives. 
Always and without reservation 
giving the glory to God. 
 
Ad majorem Dei gloriam
Latin for ""all for the glory of God." 
 
Pray for me, please. 
Thank you. 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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